So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops