A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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