The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops