What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops