What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

123 f*ck off

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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