knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

thumb_up thumb_down

A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

thumb_up thumb_down

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

thumb_up thumb_down

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

thumb_up thumb_down

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops