Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops