What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops