What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

Why did the woman die Because she was old

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

What's in there? Get outta there...

What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Womens rights.

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Santa Clogged my toliet

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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