Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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You.

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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I Love Hitler.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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I'm Spartacus

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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P0P T4Rt

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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