q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Large 4

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

thumb_up thumb_down -16

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -16

an ethopian thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops