What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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