Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

A drunk guy walks into a car

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

Charlie Sheen

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

Equal rights!

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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