How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

richard is fag

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops