why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm going as the joker for halloween

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Good job, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops