What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops