Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops