What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

your mom.

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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