Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +29

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops