What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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