I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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bite me

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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