Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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