Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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ewrg

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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