A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Should a pole bump an alarm?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

69

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops