What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Communism hehe xd

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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KILL WHITEY

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops