What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Small Penis.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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