Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -49

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops