There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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Communism hehe xd

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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