how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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