Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops