whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

Me

Is your refrigerator running? No.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

Pickles are powerful

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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