What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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Refrigerator

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops