A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hey guys im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops