A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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