What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why are black people so fast? because there black

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

82

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops