well use a tissue!

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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