Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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say it ten times fast: oh

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops