Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops