Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

Caramel Boing.

I'm so full I could stop eating.

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Daniel is a fag

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...