Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Jovan

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Skinny people fart less.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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