Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...