There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

thumb_up thumb_down +2

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops