Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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