Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Maths.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

KILL WHITEY

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops