"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops