How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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