What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops