If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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