Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

A young baby died.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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