what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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