Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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