Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

You want to hear a joke? Republican

Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

A: Knock Knock B: 7

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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