A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops